Apparently half of the Blackberry world is experiencing a painful RIM blackout!

No Twitter, BBM, Facebook, WordPress Apps or e-mail for that matter.

The problem is being experienced in the whole of Africa, Europe and Asia.

I must admit I used a few choice words aimed at Vodacom, but it isn’t their fault this time.

Hopefully they’ll sort themselves out soon.

Sometimes – not too often these days – (thank goodness!) – I find myself acting like a 10 year old.

Over reacting, tantrums, the works!

I thought I was the only one on the planet who let her emotions get the better of her, because everyone else always seem to be so much in control.

That was until last week Tuesday.

For all non Champions League soccer followers this is what happened:

Manchester City, an English football club was playing against Bayern Munich a German club. The English club were losing and obviously not happy about it.

But they had their former captain (and serial complainer) Carlos Tevez in reserve to save the day.

Only problem was that he refused to get off the bench!

Now any person – soccer fan or not – who has seen 10 minutes of soccer, watched Footballers Wives or who follow footballers on Twitter will know that they are a spoiled bunch of (mostly) immature, uneducated millionaires. Most of who would have been in prison had they not been able to kick a ball.

So the footballer’s tantrum isn’t the surprise…

It’s manager of a multi-million Rand soccer team and the club itself who collectively acted like a bunch of 10 year old.

You would expect that instead of whining in the press they would have acted decisively by quickly suspending the player and starting their disciplinary processes.

Quite like what would happen if you or I decided to not fullfil our employment obligations.

Not them.

Obviously the club knew the player wasn’t happy before they went onto the field. We read all about it in the press over and over again.

Yet they allowed him to put them in an embarrassing situation.

Now that he is suspended and will likely face a heavy fine, this richest club in England has apparently taken away Carlos Tevez’s jersey number and given it a reserve goalkeeper.

What’s next? Sticking their tongues out every time he passes by.

Now that’s maturity!

It’s true what they say. The make-up gods work in mysterious ways. In this case, the Estee Lauder gods.

It all started about a week or so ago when I received my August 2011 Fairlady magazine in the post.

A whole month had gone by since the last one and I was ready for hungry for anything fashion and beauty related. Minus the celebrity stuff!

So I paged through my brand new magazine with its free gift consisting of a container with Nivea cream, which I tossed aside and a little sachet of Nescafe Gold – a more welcomed gift.

But I digress again…

Two items stood out in the magazine. Estee Lauder’s tinted day cream and a CyberWhite brightening UV protector.

It seemed like just the two products needed to make me feel like a million bucks. Winter, remember, is not my friend.

But going to the Estee Lauder counter can be very intimidating. Movies have been made about ladies who make their living on the other side of make- up counters and their treatment of people like me.

But then later in the week I followed my friend’s Facebook feed to Estee Lauder’s fan page.

Oh my word…it was like discovering a
new world. I felt like Jan van Riebeeck, Christopher Columbus and Marco Polo must have felt.

And the Estee Lauder people offered free stuff too!!! Hello!

Free Advanced Night cream samples and free foundation samples. All you had to do is visit your nearest Estee Lauder counter.

So this morning after double-checking my August edition of Fairlady for the names of the two products, I set out to Claremont to make my skin glow.

I pointed out exactly what I wanted to the consultant – who turned out to be just the right amount of friendly.

She offered me a sample of another day cream and then I asked for the sample of foundation they advertised on Facebook.

She made me sit on a chair and held a chart against my skin to gauge the correct colour. And the she took out a brush and started adding layers of colours on top of the foundation.

Pink eye shadow to my eyes and paech blusher to my lips.

I was so shocked by her niceness that I just let her do her thing. Even when a little boy came and watched proceedings.

From some unknown place in my core being, I found my voice and asked for the Advanced Night Cream sample as well.

I left the store with bloodshot eyes, made even worse by the pink eyeshadow.

I was thinking about whether to write about politics again – with the elections coming up on 18 May.

The first time I blogged about it in 2009 was so much fun, it provided me with the direction I wanted take this blog.

Oh, the nostalgia!

The late night debates with people who were as likely to change their votes as I was. But to be fair there were one or two who were conflicted about who to vote for and why.

I was called an idiot a few times. A lot of times by one person, in particular.

That upset people close to me, but I didn’t mind one bit.

I banned him eventually. The first and only time I had to ban someone on this blog.

I gave as good as I got most of the time, though.

But since then the fun has pretty much gone out of political discussions. The vitriol is not something I want in my life anymore.

Come 18 May, I will be voting ANC, as I usually do. There is no doubt in my mind this time.

The alternatives are not an option for me. Maybe if the Independent Democrats were truly independent they might have been an option.

The Democratic Alliance has no chance at all of getting my vote.

So with decision made, there is nothing left to discuss. We (and I include myself here) are no longer open to others opinions.

Which is a pity, because it seems like we’re as polarised as the USA and other countries. There is no middle ground anymore.

The Congress of the People might have provided that option, but since their spectacular rise and fall, we’re left with only two real choices.

My decision about whether to blog about politics or not, was up in the air until yesterday when Gareth Cliff’s Facebook feed appeared on my screen.

All he did was to wish President Zuma a happy birthday, but the responses he received were mind-blowingly rude!

Who are these people who are so mean-spirited they can’t wish someone a happy birthday? Are they in the shopping malls I frequent, do I pass them on the streets? Are they family, friends, colleagues or neighbours?

So that was that.

I would prefer to live on my little cloud and believe the lie we told the world during FIFA’s soccer world cup in 2010, when we provided them images of us as a nation of smiling faces.

As you might have noticed from the topic title, I’m in search of a guru.

Like any self-respecting modern day woman, I recently logged onto Twitter and typed #guru in the search bar.

Truth be told, I would prefer not to meet my guru in person. (I read Eat, Pray, Love if you are wondering.) And Twitter just seemed right for that.

But good heavens! How many geek gurus are there on this planet?

And more importantly, how did the world function without them up to now?

I’m not however in the market for twenty year old gurus with ideas of becoming the next Mark Zuckerberg.

Charlie Sheen was another popular option. He has apparently man alone invigorating the US economy.

While I might need a financial guru that is not what I’m currently looking for.

Plus I’m not sure if Charlie is as crazy as a loon or a brilliant warlock…uhmmm marketer.

My target needs to be something more…substantial, however. But not too substantial.

Someone who can guide me spiritually. But not direct me to a religion.

Someone who doesn’t use the word spiritual. Or wear sandals. Unless it’s a she and the sandals have heals. High heals if possible.

It would also help if said guru didn’t look like a guru. Or speak like a guru.

Definitely no incense!

So my search continues…for now.

Somewhere out there (on Twitter) there has to be someone who can dolt out great advice and words of wisdom in 140 characters or preferably less.

Is that too much to ask?

As I’ve written before, I’ve recently started a quest to find inner peace, and all that new age stuff. To find Zen Abby, actually.

I can only imagine what my Mitchells Plain aunty would say if I was crazy enough to tell her.

“It’s that #@*; Facebook!”

My quest started at work, I recently realised. In our lavender garden.

I spent a lot of time tending to the plants during lunch times and at times when I was trying to escape from some madness.

The peacefulness I felt during those few minutes made me want more.

So a few months ago I started meditating every morning. Surprisingly faithfully.

I’m not sure if it’s the meditation, my new office space or just the cycle of life, but things started happening. Sometimes despite myself.

From out of nowhere I got invited to a workshop last Monday that is likely to be career changing.

And then Thursday a big miracle happened. I wasn’t happy at first, but then realised how it fitted perfectly.

It took me directly towards my dreams.

Luckily the NGO world is just the right place for late bloomers.

Besides work other things started falling into place.

And reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love just made me want to read more about meditation.

My motives for meditating was, I have to admit, not only about escaping work madness. Part of it has to with my inability to forgive two people at work and another is to start a new pattern of behaving in a relationship.

I realised that repeating the same patterns would get the same results. And while the only result I’m after is to live as peacefully, compassionately and be as in the moment as I can muster, it feels good trying to get to that point.

So off to the library I went today to get a few books. Teaching the Monkey to Fly by Jann Weiss, Gaia Busy Person’s Guide to Meditation and Caroline Myss’s Sacred Contracts – Awakening Your Divine Potential.

Did I mention I have Unisa assignments due this week?

I reluctantly started reading Eat Pray Love a few weeks ago and despite initial sceptism, got interested in the story almost immediately.

The author, Elizabeth Gilbert , started the story at the end of her marriage. And I understood a lot of the reasons she gave for feeling that she needed to leave her marriage.

I imagine giving similar reasons had I married. Feeling trapped, for one.
Not being sure about wanting children is another. Going against what society considers ‘the norm’.

To get through her acrimonious divorce, Liz starts an intense relationship with an actor,
David.

Here things get a bit vague. I’m not sure when the relationship started and how long it continued. It just felt like something was missing from the story.

To escape depression the whole divorce mess and a breakup with David, the author found her way to Italy for the Eat section of the book.

And then onto an ashram in India to meditate.

Her last stop was Bali for the love part.

I loved reading about 3/4 of the book, especially the meditation stuff in India. Seeing that I’m experiencing a similar personal journey. Except I’m in a complex in the southern suburbs of Cape Town

What I did not enjoy was when she got preachy or teachy.

I preferred when she just told her story and got bored with background descriptions that seemed unnecessary.

It has however made me want to learn more about meditation.

I did not fall in love with the countries she described or the food. But I did want to go on that quest to find inner peace.

I always said I never wanted to get married to someone who works in an office.

Mainly because of a lunch buddy I had at work many years ago. He was my brother’s friend who started working at the company where I was employed.

While even as 22/23 year old, I kept strict boundaries about not meeting alone outside the office or having inappropriate conversations, the same could not be said about him.

Eventually he started having lunch with other women in the office.

But they were much less concerned about boundaries.

He and I remained office buddies throughout the time we worked together, but I always wondered if his wife had any idea what went on at work.

I’m reasonably sure he would not have been so friendly with the office ladies had his wife been around.

Fast forward a few years. Another time, another employer.

We had clients with huge entertainment accounts who regularly offered to take us to lunch. I was the only unmarried one amongst the group and the only one who declined.

One day I discovered that our client, working for a very prominent public figure, was having an affair with my colleague.

The first and only time (until last year) when I became involved in office drama was when his wife got wind of the affair. I was asked outright if I knew anything and admitted it.

The drama!

My colleague eventually left her husband, but the male colleague remained married.

Fortunately my former colleague and I remain friends today, but the tension around the office remained for a while with no one speaking to anyone else.

Which brings me to the here and now.

When I started working at my current place of work there were only four males and about twenty five women. For some reason we hardly even considered them as anything other than one of us.

In the last three years we employed more men – younger and in more office bound positions.

And the drama started.

I’m always – even after all these years of working – astounded how people act when they walk into an office. It’s like they forget the other part of their lives.

Or maybe the office is their escape from married life?

I guess there is a line because an ex-boyfriend used to tell me about his lunch buddy who was female and married.

The fact that he spoke about it to me made me feel included and less concerned than I might otherwise have been.

So the question about office friendships is probably where to draw the line.

Mind you, I do currently have an office buddy of the opposite sex. Though neither of us are married. And I talk to him about me not crossing the line of dating colleagues.

But if I was married, I would prefer if my husband would be at work as he would be if I was there. The alternative would just be a betrayal of our relationship.

Oh my hat! Exhausted isn’t even the word to describe how tired I was after work on Friday.

Good exhaustion though. If there is such a thing.

I worked myself into a standstill at the office this past week, then brought a ton of work home.

And still there are things left unfinished, because Friday was meetings day.

Just typing the word ‘meeting’ makes me stifle a yawn.

At least the 2nd meeting was a staff forum meeting which is always interesting! And fun.

So work is keeping me busy these days. Truth be told I’m getting a bit scared that things are moving too fast for me.

I want to be able to think if I really want more responsibility. And where the heck does this sudden ambition come from when a year ago I was happy to just earn my salary.

To make matters interesting, I have myself a little crush. I think it’s mutual. (I hope so!)

But as I’ve promised myself at the start of the year…no more drama. I’m too old for teen angst.

Having said that, I’m blushing just thinking of him.

Two months of the year is nearly done. And oh how fascinating these months have been.

It’s not only been sunshine (besides the fact that it is summer in Cape Town)and roses, but even the bad days were a lot better than the ones I had last year.

I’ve eventually relented and started reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

My colleague, who is also one of my favourite people on the planet, handed me the book and told me to just read.

“It’s not my type of book.” I argued. And she was on Oprah and she let Julia Roberts play her in a movie!

She put the book in my hand and went off on a few weeks sick leave.

I subsequently handed the book to someone else.

The book made it’s way to me again two weeks later during lunch time I reluctantly took the book outside with me and started reading.

I was immediately engrossed in her story.

No wonder my colleague thought I should read it.

Especially this year when I decided to do things differently. This year when I decided to (on a much smaller scale) live a rich life doing things I enjoy. Like reading beautiful books, watching good movies, travelling overseas, eating food that is good for my body and delicious at the same time, loving unconditionally, working hard and that’s just for a start.

So by putting my usual scepticism aside I’m delighting in someone else’s story. And finding inspiration in it for my own.