Zuma’s Toll Free Number
President Jacob Zuma went to church on Sunday and promised the congregation a direct line to his office.
If we were wondering what a Jacob Zuma presidency would look like…here it is:
So far no telephone number has been forthcoming – I wouldn’t hold my breathe in the hope that it will be any time soon.
With 40 million people clammering to tell the president our problems when/if that number becomes available it will be a while before we reach the operator.
While JZ answers phones, practices his speeches for opening and closing ceremonies at sporting events, attends church services, looks after his family and dances with the people, this is what the real Zuma presidency will look like:
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11 Responses to “Zuma’s Toll Free Number”
By Coloured Boytjie on May 25, 2009 | Reply
This is by far my favourite one. hahahaha…
By Abigail Abrahams on May 26, 2009 | Reply
I’m guessing Zuma will give us a few laughs over the next 5 years.
By Renscha on Nov 16, 2009 | Reply
Hi Mr Zuma,
I am a young Entrepreneur with big dreams,I want to find out if you will be able to help me to find a sponsership for the business I am intending on buying.
Thank you.
By Thokozani Mthethwa on Dec 8, 2009 | Reply
Good morning Mr. Zuma
Thina siyiqembu eligidayo nelidlala imidlalo yeshashalazi elizinze endaweni yase Valley of a Thousand Hills, Embo besicela uBaba Msholozi asicelele asimeme nathi sibambe iqhaza ngokunandisa ngekhono lethu oluyisiko lethu.
Iqembu: Ucu Performing Art
Inombolo: 084 7282 865
ozithobayo Thokozani Mthethwa
By Thokozani Mthethwa on Dec 8, 2009 | Reply
Good morning
Mr Zuma
The reoson we are fowarding this e-mail to you is because we feel negleted even in the 2010 world cup we dont thing we will be the part of celebration and so we are asking you Mr.Zuma to assist us in every manner that you can assist because you are a man born with a plan. We are writting on behalf of Ucu Perforning Art we specialize on Nguni Cultural Dances, Gumboot dancing, Stage plays to mension but the few.
Kind regards
Thokozani Mthethwa
084 7282 865
By Anonymous on Nov 24, 2010 | Reply
For the past few weeks those of us who aspire to and subscribe to the original tenets of black economic empowerment have endured loads of embarrassment, shame and disgrace with several cases of black economic (mis) empowerment. These range from the case of Comrade John Block and his cohorts; the so called Sushi King – one former convict by the name of Kenny Kunene; and all other black people who have taken the opportunities afforded to them through BEE and decided to slap the faces of the poor, or to cross over into potentially illegal activities.
It is not the purpose of this article to discuss, at length, the merits and or demerits of the clearly undesirable conduct giving BEE the bad name that it has today. Rather than the “usual” criticism of the behaviour of the so-called BEE entrepreneurs the spotlight for me shifts to government.
The successive governments of the African National Congress (of which I am a member) have wittingly and unwittingly created a fertile ground for making criminals of law abiding black business people and civil servants (most of whom are prominent and senior members of the organization).
This is how:-
1. Government procurement
Undisputedly government procurement has been the root cause of many of the troubles besetting the so-called tenderpreneurs. Party loyalty, cronyism and sycophancy has all but taken government procurement from legitimate black business people – and potentially long term sustainable black business – to speculators, brokers and other overnight “millionaires”,
Today you do not need the guts, resilience, informed risk taking and calculation to make it in business. All you need is a membership card of the African National Congress, its youth league, women’s league and the like to access lucrative government procurement contracts. Forget knowledge of the industry, skills, experience and business acumen because they surely will not assist your cause unless you know a comrade in high places who will, for a cut of the loot, deliver the tender to you.
This system is all but destroying legitimate black business run by people who are entrepreneurs and who are concerned about sustainability of their businesses which, in turn, contribute to the economy in the form of sustainable employment and taxes (the source of the loot in the first place). The former aspect of the contribution, employment, should in all likelihood be welcomed by a government beset with a huge unemployment problem amongst the very same black people it originally sought to empower by BEE.
The government seems to be oblivious to the damage it is doing in this regard and also the opportunities it is losing by it. Firstly, by sidelining credible entrepreneurs in favour of the so called BEE’s it is effectively sabotaging its own policies especially with regard to the long term sustainability of black business, and reversing the economic disparity between the previously advantaged and the previously disadvantaged,
Secondly government is missing a massive opportunity to rope in whoever benefits from its BEE policies (including the self same so-called BEE’s) in its fight against unemployment. Government should be using the so called BEE scorecards not only to force white business to do a box ticking exercise, including instances of fronting, but also to hold black business accountable.
I find it a very serious problem that black business, more particularly the so called BEE’s or tenderpreneurs, are just handed huge amounts of monies in the form of procurement and other opportunities without being held accountable in assisting national projects including the reduction of unemployment.
Since most of the so called BEE beneficiaries are either members or supporters of the African National Congress I am sure they would not mind if government were to insist for example that:-
1. they employ other people, with a minimum number prescribed for companies bidding for state tenders and opportunities above a particular threshold;
2. that sustainability of the bidding entity be one of the primary requirements for securing certain state tenders and opportunities;
3. that companies who are bidding for certain state tenders and opportunities be required to adopt a CSI project in rural and poor communities including bursary funds, contributing to community development initiatives etc.
The above, are but some of the suggestions that could be incorporated into the BEE requirements for black owned businesses seeking to benefit from state opportunities. Not only will this help reduce unemployment and reduce poverty but it will assist in creating sustainable and vision inspired black enterprises that would, in the long run, rival white companies. The system as it is today is promoting corruption, fraud, conspicuous and vile consumerism as evidenced by the past week’s headline grabbing stories.
2. Cadre (mis) deployment
The concept of cadre deployment is noble and essential, especially at this juncture of the development of our country and economy. It is a fallacy and disingenuous for the opposition and other pundits to cry foul over the policy. In fact every political party in this country is doing it including the Democratic Alliance, which has come out as its fiercest critic.
The ANC has every right to deploy its cadres in senior government positions and other strategic places. In fact it would be suicidal for it to do otherwise. The biggest problem is not cadre deployment but rather what I prefer to call “cadre misdeployment”. Cadre misdeployment is when you take a clueless, skill- less, inexperienced and at times semi-literate person party member, who is close to the guys in the organization calling the shots, and place them in a position where he is or will be clearly out of his depth.
There are many examples in state owned enterprises and their boards of directors, senior management in government, municipalities and even in Parliament. The result has been systematic system failures, wasted state resources, tenders allocated to the “masters” who deployed the cadres, outright theft, shady golden handshakes, corruption, fraud and all other shenanigans that have only served to embarrass the ANC and make a case for criticism of cadre deployment.
The factional nature of the politics in the ANC are chiefly responsible. Capable and educated (not necessarily academically certificated – although academic certification is crucial) cadres of the ANC who would on merit deserve deployment are sidelined and overlooked for incompetent cronies, who in turn embarrass the party when they steal or cannot deliver.
Cadre deployment could be a powerful weapon on the part of the ANC government to deliver on its electoral promises if it deployed capable cadres and not cronies and or sycophants.
3. BEE points for youth,
The one aspect which is a potentially self sabotaging weapon of mass destruction for the ANC government is the way it has been treating the youth and more particularly members of its youth wing, of which I am a member, as well as their cronies and hanger ons.
Not only is the current leadership of the ANC helping in the destruction of future black leaders by allowing for an environment where black youth are having millions of rands thrown at them to insult fellow leaders and opposition party leaders, but they are also effectively encouraging semi-literacy and corner cutting. The phenomenon has effectively overrun the current ANC leadership: no one is willing, able or even capable of reigning in the youth. They are equals, they know all and cannot be taught because the lesson being tauth in the organization is to chase as much money (read tenders) as you can and show a middle finger to education, respect and values.
They are effectively being taught that having money (irrespective of the nefarious means through which you may have acquired it) beat respecting your elders and getting an education. When statistics are realised about the high drop out rate of black students only financial exclusion is cited. Other conventional reasons, including tenderpreneurship, are not mentioned despite the fact that they also contribute.
The logic is: go to an institution of higher learning, join the ANC Youth League, lead strikes and inform the management. Then a senior comrade in government will hear of you and recruit you to “empower” you or you will be awarded a position in one of the state agencies or entities after which you will “go into business”.
The so-called youth points in the BEE scorecard also fuel this phenomenon. It is my submission that the so called youth points in BEE are not helping the development of sustainable youth owned businesses in their current form. Common sense would normally dictate that if one is still young you are still learning the ropes in so far as business is concerned and that you are either still under tutelage of some experienced business person or you are still in the very early stage of business.
I therefore submit that if this country wants to empower its youth to be future credible businesspersons, that will compete with and even beat white business, youth points in the BEE score card should be scrapped completely or further conditions should be added, including a minimum period (say 2 or 3 years) of experience.
As things currently stand we have a lot of youth tenderpreneurs who have replaced proper role models and are nothing but glorified state parasites.
The time has arrived for the ANC government to go back to the drawing board and demand its socio-economic pound of flesh from the so-called BEE’s and tenderpreneurs “to ensure broader and meaningful participation in the economy by black people to achieve sustainable development and prosperity”.
The writer is a member of the ANC and its youth wing and C.E.O of Empowerment Dynamics Consulting, a BEE, PPP and Legal Consultancy based in Pretoria.
By Ngcebo on Mar 21, 2011 | Reply
MR Presidenty Zuma
We are very worried as citizens of SA about the department of Home affairs. the situation there is continueing and continueing to be unethical as people/commoniy of SA still struggling to get ID book. this it terebly to young 1 and also to grnns.
There is a guy who his situation indicating that him and the ID book they won’t be together any more.the Department both of Gauteng and KZN (ladysmith) had failed to helped him. Currently he don’t knw where to go to in order to get help as SA Citizen’s hope of getting ID (home affairs)fail to help him.
Please if Mr president you can help this man, that will be appriciated. the ID is the only thing that 1st determine that you can be some where in life. without it you are no where.
Department of home Affairs is not doing well when its comes to ID book, sometime it took years to those who have a lucky to get it.
I believe the culture of serving people need to be reviewed seriosly.
If any assistance the guy tha I mentioned above can get please contct me on my email/ 0784731881.
I Bwlieve they will be some help this guy and others with similar problem will get from you
THANX
By Miss N. Xaba on Jun 13, 2011 | Reply
I am worried about the high rate of unemployment in the country. I am also one of the less fortunate job-wise. I have a National Diploma & a Btech Degree in Environmental Health but without a job.
My background isn’t well & my family is highly reliant on me to bring about change.
Can you please make means that graduates get job positions soon after they complete their Degrees & Diplomas so they can bring about a distinct input on the South African economy with their knowledge rather than destroying it through crime and other activities against the law.
My telephone number is: 0713247227
Thank you…
By fast shooters basketball club on Jul 7, 2011 | Reply
hi mr president. As players of basketball at mdantsane,we would like your support to this,we have a tournament at bloemfoentain in 11 july 2011,now we have a problem of money,becouse our coach recieved a letter says we must pay for our selves things like transport even a hoetel per person,now its like they selling sport.the problem is that most of us we poor we come to difficult homes,we playing a sport it because of poorness we have,nw it is not fair of selling sport,we really need to go at that tournament baba. We from earstern cape.my coach’s cell number is 0828693444,enkosi tata singabulele ngenxaso yakho.
By Zanele Seopetsa on Jan 13, 2012 | Reply
Greetings
I am a psychology student at UNISA and I am also unemployed and I have been unable to continue with my studies due to the lack of fundind.
In 2010,I enroled at the University,registering 2 first year modules and then after I could not continue with my studies because I could not afford da study costs (school fees,transport,stationery,books,food).
In 2011 I tried to apply for the garvenment student loan and it was unsuccessful because the University had received too little money so they could not catter to new applicants.
Sir. Please sponsor my education and make my dream a reality.
I have already registered for the year 2012 but my registration can only be finalised on receipt of payment.
Looking forwad to hearing from you.THANK YOU SIR.
Tel 0722984436
By Zama on Feb 7, 2012 | Reply
I am Zama Mthethwa from Eshowe.I am studyng to be a Doctor but i dont have money.I applied and the Msholozi fund promised me to give me the needs but it has never happened i am still waiting.My no.is 0793592713